Hey everyone! This is a meta-post about letterclub.games itself, but I suppose also about the idea of videogamedesigntheory and my relationship to it.
As I peel the internet from my bones and multipresence with it I realize I have always been the one to decide how many people I have to be and any number except one has always been the wrong answer.
I can spend a very long time thinking about some questions, but to what end? I’ve always thought of making new work as priority number one, and whenever I allow myself to dive down deep into theories it is because I think it might help me get to the position of making new work. I still think that’s true, but I’ve recognized that I’m sort of at the cusp of it, of wanting to dive into some themes even if I don’t yet have a project, and it’s a good feeling but it means that my ability to respond or even pay attention to letterclub.games will, or might, be much reduced.
We’ve been a little sleepy lately anyway so I’m not sure this is so much a necessary confession as I think it is an intriguing topic all its own.
For a time I thought of this burning group conversation as a primary project, a true love, however fleeting. But I don’t think it has an end goal, and I need something like that with my projects! I can’t juggle several projects; it’s not good for me.
I want to ask you:
How do you feel about this yourself?
Do you follow the same emotional arc as I’m describing?
Is letterclub.games like a forever project, or is it just a tiny community that will come and go, ebb and flow with our individual eddies of the mind, even if that means it falls asleep and hibernates and dies?
My heart is in making new work, new games. I don’t know that theoretical writing for me is ever more than temporarily beautiful jetsam, flotsam, castoff thoughts. It’s conversation, a social activity, but not sure it can get more serious than that.
Oh, I could keep typing, but I’ll shut up. I’m just rambling anyhow 🙂
I didn’t end up writing about themes. That’s okay. My thoughts on themes are incomplete anyway. I’ve been asking myself: what do I care about so much that I know I’ll still care about it in five years? ten years? with my dying breath? That’s the shit I want to be thinking about now.
Something I’ve been thinking a lot lately is that Things doesn’t need to keep the same amount of intensity forever. I usually have short-and-intense relationships with everything: people, projects, art pieces. But even if you stop talking/ thinking about it daily, they can still remain. Less intense, but still meaningful. I’m tired of fleeting, I want to Remain.
This is a project that’s really close to my heart. And I think it’s fun for us as a social interaction thing, and also useful for people to read it. But i don’t think it needs to be a “main” project, but more like an ongoing thing were we can write eachother when we feel like it.
Pressover is my job, and still, some months I write a lot, and some others I hardly keep it up with the small reviews. And it’s ok.
I think I have similar feelings to you two. I don’t have big dreams for this, but I like it. I like practicing organizing my thoughts about games, and sharing them with you. A place to get inspired by each of your thoughts on those topics. It’s nice that it’s public but I don’t want to go around thinking everyone should want to read it. I don’t want it to stress me. So it will ebb and flow as inspiration strikes and time allows, but I do hope that it continues for a while, and that it continues to help me (and you) make the games we want to make.