[..] ‘what are these games we dream of? why do they feel so distant? where are the stairs that lead to them?’
[..] it sounds like… you imagine it as this thing that should always be out of reach! And as soon as you would start to treat it as an everyday thing, it would lose its satisfaction.
I have a fear [..]
[..] I like the discourse, because it constructs a framework within which I can feel like I am beginning to understand it. So that it may become ‘ready-to-hand’, so that I can… hmm. What is it I that I want to do with it?
Confused[..]
i have a fear.
today… i spent a few hours making a Very Nice D-pad, and it was sort of fun, sort of frustrating work, and i began to wonder: how necessary is it to have a Very Nice D-pad anyway?
today… i went on a walk with my friend Chris and said i was going to make some haiku games and he said he could guess what haiku games were based on our ongoing discourse, and his guess wasn’t what i thought it would be.
he said something like “Haiku is an art form about writing in the moment, it is about the act of doing and not planning, observing and not interpreting,” and i thought, hmm, that’s actually a huge component that i was missing
–
i think that maybe my Very Nice D-pad is a symptom of something internal and insidious.
haiku games are only distant as long as we keep them out there, out of reach, in the land of discourse and not reality.
i have a fear that the discourse constructs a framework within which i can feel like i am always beginning to understand something and never arriving at the station — that i am looking for stairs to build instead of climbing the sheer rocky face and getting scraped and stuff — and, most of all?, that everydayness is the only possible cure.
i have a fear of making things and standing by them! of making things and recognizing that they are not as wonderful as all these ideas and meta-ideas are. only one way to find out though. only one way to get over the fear.
–
time to make some everyday, perfectly ordinary haiku games.
–
ADDENDUM
regarding droqen’s “fear” (newforum.droqen.com)
“time to make some everyday, perfectly ordinary haiku games”
above
i wrote this as my conclusion to ‘fear’, but i don’t know, i don’t know yet. i do believe in doing the work. but i also suppose that someone must do the work of curation and presentation. it must become normal and ordinary, but someone must do the work of making it normal, of understanding what normal even is, of discovering the information “what is a haiku game?” from the context of not what it means to a creator but what it means to an explorer, an appreciator, a recipient.
what does it mean to seek out a haiku game?
what does it mean to be satisfied by a haiku game?
what does it mean to wait for a new haiku game?
what does it mean to remember a haiku game?
what does it mean to share a haiku game?
when i ask “what is a haiku game?” i am asking all of these questions.